Sometimes it takes awhile for someone to really realize there self worth.For me its taken 18 years and a baby. I know now that my daughter is the only person in the world that I need to impress shes the only one that I need to be proud of me. I feel that when the right guy comes along I wont feel like a have a standard to live up to that he`ll make me feel like the best of the best. I spent so much time on so many guys trying to live up to there expectations, when really no matter what I did Id never be good enough anyway. So its time to start living for myself I dont need to live up to anyones expectations but my own and at the end of the day its my life and Ill be damned if I’m gonna let anyone influence the way I live it = )
Maybe getting over someone your in love with isnt impossible.Unless maybe you dont actually get over it.Maybe you just learn to live with it. But you have to try there’s no sense in dwelling over a situation you have no control over. You cant make somebody fall in love with you. However it doesn’t make it hurt any less, cause you cant control who you fall in love with and you cant control that feeling its not something you can just turn on and off. You hope everyday will get easier but then that song that reminds you of them comes on, or you hear there name , or see a picture of the two of you. There really is no way to just completely block out a person and move on with your life. I used to think if you cant get somebody off your mind then maybe there supposed to be there. At the same time having you constantly on my mind just hurts way to much.
I honestly believe that there’s one person out there for everyone. I found mine. I know that he is my better half, he completes me and I could never feel the way I feel toward him about anyone else.Your first boyfriend is always exciting and its something new, then you have your first serious relationship , spend a little time playing the field after that …and after all the relationship hell youve been through you find your soul mate. He was my best friend thats how we started out, I told him things no one else knew and the fact that we were falling for eachother scared the hell out of me. I felt sure it wouldnt work and in the end I would lose an incredible friendship. Throw a baby into the mix to really complicate things and my fears skyrocketed. But we took it slow didnt rush anything to serious, and in time we really were completely in love. He was my strength through everyday he was my shoulder to cry on and he was the one thing that no matter how shitty my day was going could always make me laugh.
A year later were struggling to hold on to what we had. I guess you could say the honeymoon phase is over, and reality is were really gonna have to fight to get back to where we were. Scariest thing is I could never feel this way about anyone else, ever. Back to my belief that there’s one person out there for everyone, so if he’s it and we don’t make it where does that leave me? Next to my daughter hes my reason for living and what we have is something worth fighting for.
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is.”
August 2009.16 and pregnant. Not an ideal situation for any girl. But me? Theres no way I could be a mom theres no way I could be responsible for another life. Now over a year later, here I am a proud mommy of a beautiful 5 month old. Im not gonna say is was a great pregnancy or the labor was great and my life is now based on a fairytale with the best possible ending. Not even close. I spent the long nine months of nausea and backaches constantly wondering what if. What if the labor is to hard? what if she turns out to be a he? what if I just am not suited to be a mother? I never thought what if this baby changes your life for the better or what if she turns out to be your everything? Should have cause thats exactly what happened.Every days a challenge but I wouldnt have it any other way, shes my whole world<3 Maycie Leighton
